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It’s been said that love is blind, which means we often fall in love with people who are not the best match for us. That’s certainly true when it comes to romantic relationships, but what if your partner is a narcissist?
While there are many types of narcissists, the common features they share tend to include a lack of empathy and high self-esteem. Narcissists don’t like criticism or other opinions about themselves, and they have difficulty feeling any sort of connection with others.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissistic person, here are some telltale signs you should look out for so you can get out fast before things get bad. Discover true love on most popular dating sites.
1. They think they’re better than everyone else
The most obvious way to spot a narcissist is by how they talk about themselves. A narcissistic person will always speak highly of themselves, regardless of whether they’ve done anything good or bad. Their conversations typically revolve around them and their accomplishments, rather than focusing on those around them.
This sense of entitlement has everything to do with the narcissist’s need for admiration. It’s difficult to feel confident about oneself if no one is paying attention to one’s actions.
You may be wondering how this makes someone into a narcissist, but trust me, that’s exactly what happens. Self-preservation is the first instinct of anyone who knows they’re not as great as they believe themselves to be, and a narcissist uses that insecurity to get ahead.
2. They expect special treatment
We all know the phrase “special snowflake”, but it’s even more applicable when it comes to narcissism. Just because two people are in a relationship doesn’t mean the narcissist is going to suddenly start taking care of you and treating you differently from how he/she treats everyone else.
Narcissists are used to getting their own way, and they expect to continue doing so. This leads to an expectation that the narcissist will treat you well, and if you fail to meet those expectations, the narcissist becomes angry and resentful.
3. They’re very controlling
Controlling behavior is something most people wouldn’t consider a normal part of interpersonal relationships, especially long term ones. But the truth is, narcissists are extremely controlling, both during the dating phase and once the relationship is established.
When they decide they want to keep you, they’ll use every tool at their disposal to ensure you stay put. One of these tools is control over money and finances. You never see a narcissist spend money unless it’s on himself/herself, while they force you to pay for everything.
Another way they exert control is through emotional blackmail. They will threaten to leave or break up with you if you don’t agree to certain conditions.
They want to make sure you don’t stray away from them, so they’ll try to scare or manipulate you into staying in the relationship. In their minds, if you’re unhappy, you must be wrong about their character.
You’ll notice that whenever you try to communicate with the narcissist, she/he tries to shut you down immediately. If you ask too many questions, they’ll become frustrated and stop listening.
4. They lie to cover their tracks
People with narcissistic tendencies tend to lie constantly. They’ll tell you they love you one day, then call you names or blame you the next. It’s not only unhealthy, it’s damaging to the relationship.
They also tend to lie about small and big things. For example, they might say they spent $20,000 on a new car when in reality they spent just $10,000. They’ll also tell you they’ve lost weight when really they gained 10 pounds.
These behaviors are so ingrained in their personalities, they don’t even realize they’re lying. The narcissist doesn’t see the harm in telling a few white lies. However, if it continues and the deception becomes frequent, they’ll eventually catch onto your attempts to figure them out.
5. They’re jealous of anyone you date
A person who is narcissistic is likely to be insecure in his/her relationship, and will likely lash out at you when you start seeing someone else. While they’re happy for you, they’re still upset you won’t be exclusive.
Even if they aren’t physically abusive, they’ll still behave negatively toward you when you start dating someone else. They’ll either ignore you completely, or try to sabotage your efforts to move on – like by ignoring you when you text, making comments that seem personal, or trying to convince you to take back your ex.
If you notice any of these behaviors, you should definitely end the relationship right now. These behaviors indicate that the narcissist isn’t interested in being happy for you; instead, they’re simply trying to hurt you in any way possible.